why are u still affecting my life....

i really don't know what is really going on.

i have not been visiting my own blog because it brings back so much pain and bitterness in my life but i wont delete it as this is the only thing i have to remember RLGQ.

recently RLGQ has been in my thoughts again. this time not in a bad way no more.

i remember how we met before and how we actually started.
the feeling i felt when that first moment together.

i dunno why i am near to tears now.
maybe because i know its long gone.
those are just memories to keep.

i understand that he chose that other person because that other person suits his needs and criteria as a BF. i totally understand that. i kinda feel that i don't meet any of his criteria, i had that feeling when he told me that one of his friend had the exact criteria as himself in a BF.

i kinda miss talking to him... telling him about the stress that i face..... discuss about things to do, or should do... eating food that we both love... like the pork noodle in 15....

i cant find the feelings that i had with him but that doesn't mean that i would stop finding...

the only thing i regret so far is to have treated him the way i treat him just so that i can get over him sooner and easier...

after all that, i still find myself missing him so much and rejecting everyone that comes by...

i truly wish him all the best with the new person and life in general....

i still have a place in my heart vacant for him...

i know this is silly... to give chance to the person that hurts you the most to have a chance to hurt you again.... but what can i do??? i wish life would be shorter for me now as i have found the best days of my life and i do not want the memories to fade....