i just can't do it!!!!!!!!

I envy some people who have such close relationship with their parents. As for me, its a total opposite. I cant really remember the last time i had a decent conversation with either of them. My mum as some of you might know has left the family. So i don't really see her that much. So i guess the bond is not there anymore. Every time we talk on the phone or meet up, I just have nothing to talk to her about and sometimes i get really frustrated with her questions very quickly.

As for my dad, all loyal readers should know, i don't even have a relationship. We bicker almost everyday. The only times we don't quarrel or get on each others nerves are during meals and when we are asleep. Other than that, its world war. Some of you may think that i should be grateful that i have a dad to talk to or even to see. Because some unfortunate people don't even have parents to shout at. But seriously, i am not trying to exaggerate stories or anything. Its just that me and my dad share such a bizarre relationship that no one would understand. Just today we upset each other just because my brother asked me to help him lead his friends to the house. My dad obviously had to shout and make it so hard to get out from the house. its not that i am going to SERDANG or JOHORE to lead them, its just USJ 12 and its freaking near. And that also he wants to scream and act as if i am going to hell's gate. I really don't know what he wants from me. i tried telling him how i felt about him treating me so. I even tried to be patient and just ignore every negative vibe from him. Nothing works. I am not trying to talk bad about him or anything, just want to vent out my feelings in my own blog. If you ( the readers) think my actions are immoral you can always leave comments in my 'taggy'.

Whenever i go to my friends house, i feel there's something different there. I can feel that they have a different relationship with their parents compared to what i have. Thats why sometimes i would rather go out even though i am running low on revenue but at least i am not destroying my life with all the anger and frustration. Some of my friends even asked me,"how come your always out. And if not you will be sleeping at home??" so here's your answer. I just feel that we are not improving our relationship with what we have done so far and certainly, i can't find any ways to do so. i don't know what else i can do, but to leave house as soon as i can.